Obsession: According to webster is a persistent disturbing preoccupation with an often unreasonable idea or feeling.
When I’ve been called ‘Obsessed’ for the last 23 years it was never in a positive tone, polite tone, accepting tone or combined with other words to make it seem like it was ‘Okay’ or appropriate behavior. It’s always been combined with other words like, ‘Ugh’ ‘You have a problem’ ‘No wonder people hate you.’ ‘You’re so annoying’ ‘That’s so creepy’ ‘No wonder why you annoy people.’ ‘No wonder why people can’t stand you.’ ‘You have a serious mental issue.’
Is it anyone’s business to judge or dictate how often someone should use a form of comfort/relaxation? If the comfort/relaxation is not harming anyone. Who is anyone to judge? What gives you the authority or need to inform someone else that they shouldn’t do something or feel a certain way to the extent that they do. What maybe too much for one person may be nothing at all to someone else. And also your opinions on how much you accept of others behavior changes based on how you feel about that person that enjoys what they do. Some you might accept their behavior and not make them feel like utter crap, others if you already don’t like them your opinions maybe skewed so everything they do is ‘weird’ to you.
You wouldn’t look at someones depression medication and say, “Gee this says only take once a day. No I think you should only take it once a week. You take this medication too much.” You wouldn’t say that because you’re not a psychiatrist nor a doctor. You haven’t lived their life so in no way shape or form should you feel like you have the authority to dictate how often someone needs medication to help them. Even if you were a doctor, you’re not their doctor.
We all have different strengths and tolerances for how we deal with sadness and stress based on how we were raised and the experiences we have gone through. We all have different ways we process information. We all have our own battles that we’re fighting, some daily, some weekly and some even less. Maybe something like a death of a close family member or being diagnosed with cancer wouldn’t phase you. But I imagine you’ve gone through something in your life that bothered you. Either losing a job, getting dumped, getting a bad grade on a test. And just because you handle lifes turmoil better, what do you want an award for that? Do you want me to congratulate you that nothing at all in this world or at least what you lead people to believe, bothers you. Sorry you’re not gonna get a pat on the back from me. I’m not gonna bow down to you and start looking up to you because you got fired from the job you needed to pay the bills and you’re somehow not emotionally affected by it in anyway.
What you perceive as an ‘unhealthy’ way to cope with something is just you pushing your opinion that you’d deal with life better. That’s your life. Your own way of growing up. Your own background. Not everyone deals with things the same way. Some people aren’t phased by stubbing their toe. Some aren’t phased by getting rejected by their friends. Some people, nothing affects that perfectly resting bitch face. Nothing gets to them. But something will. Something someday will get under their skin. That will bother them. Maybe their parent dies. Maybe they get in a horrible car accident. Maybe you get breast cancer and your hair falls out and you’re puking your guts out from chemo. You may be strong as an iron wall but chances are you’ll accept or look for something to help you cope with that. And who knows. Maybe you act tough around strangers to make yourself look cool. Like hey look at me, I don’t need any coping mechanism.
Are you a parent of a baby or a toddler? Stresses you out right? Surely you struggle to deal with the lack of sleep, puke being splattered on you, wiping up the baby’s shit. Surely you don’t do all of that with a painted on smile 24/7. Maybe you sit down at the end of the day and wish for a break. Maybe mom sneaks off to the bathroom for a bubble bath or watching a quiet show that’s not ‘Baby Shark’ to unwind. There you are using something to escape reality. As pulled together as you think you are. You rely on something to help you get through the day. A glass of wine maybe? A night out with the girls while your husband takes care of the baby?
When you judge others based on what they use to cope with life it’s basically telling them that you want them to congratulate you based on how well you deal with life. You don’t lose sleep, you don’t cry, you don’t get stressed. You don’t get upset. You are basically a robot. And you feel like it’s your main purpose in life to have them ditch what makes them happy and only use that ‘Strong backbone’ that you yourself were so blessed with. Are you going to make a duplicate of your backbone and insert it into their body? No? You mean they haven’t invented a way to do that yet? You’re hoping that your guilt you unleash on them will give them that ‘strong backbone’. Awww that’s so kind of you, but not happening.
And the majority of us have something that make us happy that others would view as ‘childlish’. Not that everyone in this world is rude enough to actually say that, ‘you’re childish.’ They may think that but not actually say it. Wouldn’t hurt your feelings though would it? If someone thought something about you but didn’t say it. You wouldn’t know. But if someone flat out said, ‘Ugh you’re so childish and immature for the way you cope with life.’ Granted sure, stealing stuff from stores or breaking into houses and stealing large screen tvs and jewelry is pretty immature and stupid as fuck. But we have something. Trying to get those Star Wars galaxy’s edge opening day park passes? How excited were you about Avengers: end game? Game of thrones anyone? Game of thrones themed parties? Back when I had Instagram I scrolled through my live stream video feed and the majority of peoples videos were Games of Thrones related. People stopped everything to watch Game of thrones and if they weren’t they were devastated that they were missing that wonderful show and insisted no one spoil it for them. Tell me to grow up and stop acting a certain way? Stop enjoying something? Awesome want me to dry their tears when Game of Thrones finishes their final episode of the series? Chances are you’ll cope by re watching old episodes at some point. If you accept me, I’ll be there to understand how you feel about a show that people can’t get enough of.
https://inews.co.uk/culture/television/game-thrones-obsession-explained-media-psychologist/ I may not understand the interest of Game of Thrones. It may not be my thing. But I’m not gonna open my big damn mouth and start controlling other people’s feelings about the show and make them feel like a sack of shit for watching it.
See right now I could say, Gee that’s obsessive and childish as hell. Grow up. It’s just some dumb tv show. Cause it’s my right to feel that way. I could say right now that I think it’s weird as hell to have a games of thrones tv show marathon binge watching. Or marvel movie marathons are a complete waste of time and you should call a therapist cause that’s fucked up. You could be doing something productive with your time.
But hey… I was just making shit up because I don’t actually feel that way. You watch whatever and how often as you want. I never once went onto other people’s Instagram and publically made them feel ashamed or ‘wrong’ about what interests them. If they’re happy, then I’m happy for them. I never once went onto peoples instagrams and said, “You know..you post about this show or movie too much. It’s really annoying.” Cause… surprise surprise I don’t go out of my way to comment on something that doesn’t really interest me and it’s honestly not any of my business why people enjoy what they enjoy. I have no right to bash others just because I don’t personally enjoy or do something as often as they do.
But it always surprises me the amount of people in this world that think it’s their duty to inform others when they’re enjoying something ‘Too much.’ Like there’s this invisible limit that they themselves wouldn’t go over and they think everyone else should have a cut off point as well.
And just because a family members sudden death or getting your dog run over by a car bothers them and upsets them doesn’t mean that they are ‘weak’. If you think they’re weak that means you’re pushing your perspective onto them based on your own life of what you would or wouldn’t do. That’s your life. Again lives are different. We all have different emotional backgrounds. And just because you deal with whatever life throws at you perfectly without shedding a tear doesn’t mean you are a superior being that the world should bow down to.
I’d like you to close your eyes and think back to the 90’s. More specifically 1996 through 1999. Even into 2000 to 2001. Maybe you weren’t born yet. But if you were alive and a teenager then like I was. Well in 1997 I was 14. The prime age for boy bands. Turn on the MTV and TRL had screaming flailing fans. Turn on the Today show and chances are they had a boy band performing in NYC. Go to the book store and magazines like Tiger Beat and Bop had pictures and posters of boy bands from cover to back page. That was the magazines we got. No regret. It was my generation. It wasn’t just teens it was also the adult moms that took their teenage girls to the concerts. They would also wear band shirts and make posters. This to me and so many teenage girls in the 90’s was normal. This was our enjoyment. Back when MTV had shows where bands would surprise fans by meeting them to interview them. When New Years eve wasn’t complete until you saw some boy band or even all girl band performing on one of the tv stations. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=DHhyf5QUhuI
That love and passion for boy bands still exist today. https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=r_Qw802rtv4 case in point. Fans camping out for NSYNC walk of fame ceremony last year.
A documentary film was made about this boyband era last year ‘I used to be normal: A boyband fangirl story’ Here is the trailer https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=cSQBPzGL8EI
It wasn’t just the 90’s, this spanned generations.
“But it’s so unhealthy! Don’t you have anything else better to do than be a creepy obsessed freak! Don’t you have a family or friends?”
LOL why does anyone that is really interested in a band automatically assumed to be broke, poor and without a family. You know what is unhealthy. How about the parents that pass out from heroine overdoses with their young kids in the back seat. Slumped over in a parking lot and cops have to show up to give them Narcan. Now that, is dangerous. That is an addiction that clearly puts your child in danger.
Again, you yourself that has that wonderful resting bitch face and is tough that doesn’t let anything bother you. Do you drink coffee? Do you start your day with a cup of coffee? Do you spend money to get fancy coffee at Starbucks? Do you enjoy that? Does it help you wake up in the morning? How would you feel or act without a cup of coffee? Would you function as well as you do without coffee? Would you be cranky? Irritable?
Moral of the story, don’t be a dick. If you don’t like someone’s behavior and it bothers you so much more than getting a parking ticket or acid falling from the sky or a meteor hurling towards earth and you’re afraid your life is going to end then be the bigger person just remove them. Telling them how you feel about what makes them happy only makes you look like a controlling, overly opinionated nosy authority figure that really has no right to judge what that other person needs or doesn’t need to cope with their daily struggles. Until you’ve walked in their shoes. Experienced one of their bad days. You don’t know. And again their day if you experienced it might not bother you at all because what class.. we’re all different people with different backgrounds, upbringings and ways of thinking. Great! Now sit down and keep your mouth shut.
