Internet: Internet doesn’t do much to help us make friends. You may be thinking ‘but there’s so many social media outlets!’ True. This is so true. But how many social media outlets do you use consistently, regularly and really have in-depth conversations/connections/communication with people? How many of you actually keep in contact with others using email anymore? When was the last time you sent an email to a friend? When was the last time you had a lengthy private message with someone? Chances are if you’re 35 you use Facebook just to keep in contact with family members but not ‘friends’. Chances are you no longer use Skype, Tumblr, Twitter, Instagram. Chances are you use social media actually very little.
Marriage: If you are married, if your spouse isn’t busy you’re wanting to spend time with them
understandably, especially if they’re gone often. You want to spend quality time when they are around. If your spouse is anti social/introverted then that may make you feel hesitant to find your own friends, so as not to make your spouse feel bad that you’re out having fun with friends. If your spouse isn’t too big on hanging out with others, chances are you won’t bring friends over to the house if your spouse is there. If you’re not married you might be wanting to get married so you’re more interested in the dating scene than actual friendship.
Kids: Chances are if you’re in your mid 30’s you either have kids or you don’t obviously. If you don’t you maybe busy doing other things with your life (work, college, volunteering etc). If you have kids your world most likely revolves around them. You’re taking them to school, after school activities, camp, sports, field trips, doctor appointments, school plays, day care. You got fifty million things going on with your kid or kids that the last thing you want to think about is hanging out with other people or if you do it’s with other moms. Friends… when you hear ‘friends’ you instantly think of your kids friends and think, ‘My kid needs another play date.’
Work: If you’re in your mid 30’s you’re either working 2 or 3 jobs including overtime or you’re desperately trying to find a job. You’re going to job interview after job interview and you’re super stressed. You’re working to the bone to make minimum wage. You take overtime hours like they’re essential like food or water. They’d rather work than spend time with friends. If they do have a friend it’s a coworker that they speak to during work.
Aging parents: Maybe your parents are ill. Maybe you’re their caretaker. Cause let’s face it. Our parents now are at least in their 50’s or older now. You’re taking them to doctors appointments, taking them to physical rehab, taking them for testing, cooking, cleaning etc for them. The last thing you want to think about after caring for your parents is to try to relax and spend time with friends. You’re so stressed and overwhelmed from your parents that you can’t even think about friends.
Finances: Most people in there mid 30’s that I communicate with barely have enough change to get their clothes cleaned at the laundromat. They’re all barely scraping by. Even going to a friends house for a few hours to just watch tv is too expensive to most. A weekend away at a friends house now is far more expensive than when were kids. Now it’s the cost of gas for your car. It’s… food I guess? I’m not sure. Maybe people are worried they have to pay the friend money to let them eat food that is in their friends fridge when they visit? Maybe they’re worried they’ll get charged to use the toilet?
Car: Most people I know that are my age either don’t drive (don’t have a license) or have a car that’s on it’s last leg. There’s a bunch of things wrong with their car and they don’t want to drive it. Or their car is in the shop frequently.
Things that used to be super fun for your friends when you were younger are now considered boring to them: The mall used to be a super fun place to go around and just window shop. I still love going to the mall. But so many people in their mid 30’s now think… ‘Well I don’t need to buy anything. What’s the point? If I go…then I might want to buy something and that’s bad.. I can’t afford it.’ The movie theater used to be a great place for friends to go but now theater prices have sky rocketed and snack prices as well went up since the 90’s. Going out to a restaurant: Always too expensive for people. Even if it is fast food. People in their mid 30’s are trying to cut back on eating out.
Introvertedness: Actually in the early 90’s I didn’t even know the word introverted… back then it was just called ‘shy’. They were the quiet kids. That you still could talk to eventually once they felt less shy around you. Now a days it’s more and more common to find people in their mid 30’s that have severe social anxiety or manic depression or bi polar disorder or ocd. People in their mid 30’s have so much more self doubt. Worried that they’ll say the wrong thing to people. That they’ll make the wrong impression so they just give up trying to be social. After their normal every day routine they’re just done being social. They need to shut down/unwind.
Phone: Who actually has long conversations on the phone anymore? I mean I used to love long conversations with people. I remember when I’d talk to my best friend on the phone while we both watched MTV. We’d sit there in our own houses with a bowl of popcorn each and we’d watch the same shows at the same time. We’d gossip and tell each other jokes. Time flew by and before we knew it it was two in the morning. I feel like that whole concept of long phone conversations to people in their mid 30’s sounds so foreign and ‘unnecessary’ and actually a bit ‘much’ to most. Maybe even bordering on ‘clingy’ actually or too ‘needy.’ Do people in their mid 30’s actually share their phone number with ‘friends’ anymore? Maybe to text once in a rare while but to talk?
Moving: Chances are a person in their mid 30’s doesn’t live in their home town anymore. Most people that I graduated high school with have moved states away or even to other countries. It seems like every other day I see someone around my age on FB is announcing that they are ‘moving’. I don’t blame you, Ohio sucks. Most likely you’ve moved or are moving and not gonna come back.
College: Alright mid 30’s I know… you might have already graduated but in your mid 30’s you might be going to college for the second time or getting your masters degree. Plus most likely you’re also trying to juggle working too. So you’ve got studying, homework, tests, quizzes. You don’t even want to think about socializing unless it’s a study group for college.
Hobbies: You’re in your mid 30’s. You probably have a hobby (or none cause you’re too busy). But if you have a hobby you’re either in the group that only socialize with your niche hobby group of people. People that know/understand your hobby. Or you’re so into your hobby that you have no time to communicate with anyone. This is especially true of people that work on their hobbies for commission.